If there is one thing I’ve learned in my short time on this Earth is that you never know where Life is going to take you.
Just over a year ago, I was planning to be married and the best Step-Mom on the face of the Earth. At about this time, we would be finishing up something on Netflix and in about an hour I would say what I had been saying every night for a year and a half: “Go back in there and brush your teeth better than that, you brushed them for 10 seconds. I counted.” Or some variation that usually depended on how tired I was.
How I hope my future will be?
I hope I still have something to write about.
I hope to have love.
I hope to be healthy and happy.
As far as the reasons why I will be still writing, loving, and being happy… you never know. Could be a husband and children. Could be just children. I could’ve started liking animals. I could have traveled the world. I could have all of these. You just simply never know.
I would first like to point out the vagueness of this prompt.
A moment I felt satisfied with my life? My whole life? Satisfied in a moment with my whole life?
I had a bacon wrapped hot dog once. I will never forget how satisfying that was to my life, specifically my belly. It was my 25th birthday at about 2 pm.
Right now, I’m listening to Billie Holiday and I’d say I’m pretty satisfied. I just posted a poem on Instagram (shameless plug – follow me @preciousjalisa) and my phone is lighting up with notifications. Good ole double taps.
When I am driving in my car, I usually open the sunroof and am rather satisfied with the Vitamin D that I absorb and the fresh air that I inhale. Also, it automatically transforms into a moonroof at night. This is the only reason I am satisfied with paying an arm and a big toe for this car and the insurance… rather than cringing when those two payments come flying out of my bank account.
I am quite satisfied when I am having margaritas and fish tacos on Tuesdays and talking with my favorite bartender. He is quite the transparent asshole. He has no reason to be reading this blog, hopefully my “on the house” margaritas are still there next Tuesday.
Connecting with people satisfies me. But also connecting with myself.
Today, I had a light bulb moment full of creativity. That satisfied me to my bones. I just hope to connect and inspire people… I hope my life is satisfyingly full of that.
I’ve always felt some connection between myself and being a Leo. I was born on August 9th, 1989. 8.9.89. I would like to point out at that the late, great Whitney Houston was also born on August 9th.
I’m an uncharacteristically shy Leo. I don’t feel like I’m as self-centered as others think Leos are either. I lean more towards having the characteristics of a Lion than whatever a Leo is…
I’m a Queen. Loyal. Protective and territorial. I am hunter and nurturer. Loving and ferocious. My growl is loud, my bite only happens out of necessity. I can be gentle and let my vicious side reveal itself.
I will leave you with a few lines from Beyonce’s “Don’t Hurt Yourself” from Lemonade below. I feel the need to remind myself that I am not broken, there’s so much strength inside of me. There are some people and things threatening my sanity lately.