Hypersensitivity

I wish I didn’t feel.

I wish I could shrug shit off like Kanye West.

I wish I didn’t lose my train of thought in a stranger’s smile.

Delight in every freckle on someone’s face.

Be intrigued with everyone’s story

Inspired by everything.

I wish I didn’t get distracted by every leaf blowing in the wind,

Every sound that vibrates passed my ears.

I wish my mind was quiet and I could detach

from my own heart… and just rest.

I wish I didn’t love.

I wish I couldn’t love.

I wish I stayed cool as winterfresh gum

Never needing validation or reassurance

Never cracked under the pressure of a lover’s gaze

I wish I would stop changing so I could catch up

 

pour out some of the emotion of this overflowing cup…

 

Sometimes I wish I was less than this…

that I was just a breeze dancing over the waves in the middle of the ocean.

Or a laugh escaping into the day that is soon over and forgotten.

Yeah, I wish I could just rest.

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Am I Doing It Wrong?: A Journal Entry

Am I doing it wrong because…

I believe in honesty and transparency.

I believe in being myself in my many forms.

I believe in love and expressing it.

I believe in acceptance of myself and others.

I believe in simple things.

I believe in a night on the couch doing nothing.

I believe in just listening.

I believe in giving myself.

Maybe that does make me naive considering the way the world is today and how horribly selfish and inconsiderate people can be. Yet, after all I have been through, I celebrate that I am not jaded and I have not allowed anyone to break my spirit or turn my heart to stone.

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Beautiful Soul: A Journal Entry

I’ve always thought differently than most people around me. I’m okay with that, it doesn’t scare me to be different.

I am a human first. A woman second. Black third. I am so much more than these words. When I look into the mirror, I do not see a beautiful black woman with natural hair and a cute smile… I see my soul. I see what’s behind my eyes and what’s coming from inside of me. My energy, I guess we could call it. Then, I see the physical. I don’t know when it happened but I’ve become aware of it.

I’ve become aware of how grounded I feel and accepting of every part of me. I’m not placing anyone else’s definitions or generalizations of who I am upon myself. If I end up with no one by my side, that is fine… because if the people in my life can’t love and accept me the way I love and accept myself then is it really worth it? No.