Gorgeous Dre the Pimp Discovered Online Dating

My friend, who shall remain nameless, is single and mingling as she should. Today, on a dating website she was propositioned by Gorgeous Dre, the smooth as butter pimp that lives in Galveston on the beach with four beautiful women. You are in for a treat, you get to read how Gorgeous Dre tries to persuade a young woman to be his fifth “wife-in-law.”

Gorgeous Dre

This is my reply to Gorgeous Dre as if I was my friend and I really hope he gets it one day:

Dear Andre,

I am so sorry to be addressing you by your government name but I can’t see myself addressing a senior citizen by the name “Gorgeous Dre.” I also apologize for blinding you with my beauty, I hope your cataracts don’t flare up, but I’m sure one of your wives will not mind bringing you to your eye doctor.

Sir, WHO let you near a computer? Which ever wife that was should be ashamed of herself. Now, she has opened you up to a lifetime supply of potential victims. Even though, I don’t know who would actually fall for this. There are grants and scholarships available to me, it is not at all appetizing to have to frolic naked with you on the dirty Galveston beach to get an education.

Four wives and you want a fifth? You’re just being greedy, sir. Two boobs are enough but you want TEN? I bet that makes you feel like a King, having women to have sex with each other and then with you. I am disgusted Andre and am too smart to be even tempted to consider your offer. I actually had quite a laugh with my friends about it… especially when you included a picture. What is that award for? Nicest Whore House on the Beach? I will be circulating your face, old school style, on telephone posts, in the post office, and in every window I can find.

If Andre aka “Gorgeous Dre” propositions you to be his “wife”… 

click his Life Alert pendant so they can haul him away.




P.S. Get one of your whores  wives to cut your nails… that ain’t cute.

7 thoughts on “Gorgeous Dre the Pimp Discovered Online Dating

  1. LOL that’s amazing. this article just made my day! 😀

    “it is not at all appetizing to have to frolic naked with you”

    Oh, the joys of online dating.. I’ve had everything from feet fetishists to people wanting me to urinate on them. But Gorgeous Dre tops it all, what a find! 😉

    Do you know the worst thing? Thousands of girls out there are lusting after a real life version of Christian Grey, especially with the movie coming out soon. He does not exist, instead we find Dre (hey, they even rhyme!) who’s clearly not handsome (anymore – perhaps he was 40 years ago) but hey, he’s clean at least!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Introducing Myself: Blogging 101 | Precious Marks Upon the World

  3. Your response was hilarious, but all for naught. That was not former pimp Andre “Gorgeous Dre” Taylor that messaged your friend. The pic you posted is of (pimp) Filmore Slim, whom I think is deceased. Your friend got trolled….HARD. lol


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