I Think I May Need To Cure Cancer To Restore My Honor…

A Day in My Life

 

Big Floppy Fro Crisis – 

First of all, my hair has a mind of it’s own sometimes. I did some cute twists yesterday afternoon and today I was going to untwist them and have a beautiful head of curly of hair. NOPE! Why? My thick ass hair never dries for any special occasion. I’m going to need 72 hours notice before I go anywhere obviously! 

Well I got out the blow dryer, I don’t like putting heat on my hair but this was an emergency, so I spend 30 minutes blowing my hair out. Apparently, my hair grew three inches over night. It was BIG, when I say BIG, I mean… Maxwell with the afro times 2.

He might be cuter than me though.

I’m actually kind of jealous of him right now… 

maxwell7

So, I try to tame the wild floppy fro and it’s not working. I’m running out of time. So I pin the front in these cute 1950’s swiss roll looking lumps and spritz the back with water so it will shrink a little bit. Yeah, the slightest bit of moisture my hair shrieks and runs toward my scalp, leaving me looking like a chia pet. I’m getting the dosage right so it’s looking good, I’m satisfied.

Hair crisis averted!!

16111930-blue-check-mark-isolated-on-white-part-of-a-series

 

My Perfect, Screwed Up Interview – 

I get to my interview early, actually I get to my interview so early I’m scared I will look too desperate and eager. Where this office is there is NOTHING around it, usually I would duck off into a local business and stand in the corner, blaming myself for my chronic earliness. I actually then realize that always being 30 minutes early for everything is probably annoying!

I cross the “lawn” which is actually a bunch of rocks and pebbles, so I crunch across the lawn, trying not to lose my shoes. I guess I need to add that this is an architectural firm so from the curb all the way back to where I can see in this little “house” is perfectly crafted. I probably wasn’t even suppose to walk across those pebbles, but walk across the dark grey pebbles which served as a shoe sinking driveway, I find that out later.

I walk in and introduce myself, cringing at the fact that I am extremely early. I take the water I’m offered and sit down in the “lobby.” As I’m admiring the fact that this office was formerly a house and has been gutted into a very open space where you can see what everyone is doing and hear every conversation. 

Lana, the lovely HR Director, whom I loved during my phone interview, I loved even more in person. It’s actually making me sad that she wouldn’t be my boss if I get hired. We have a lovely interview and I am KILLING IT!! It’s going perfect!! She exits the conference room and is going to have me talk to the Director of Operations next! I knew my boyfriend and his brother were waiting on me in the car, actually I didn’t know… I thought they went off somewhere. I know I broke one of the interviewing rules, but I hate public transportation and wanted someone to take me. SO THIS BOZO, my boyfriend’s brother, walks in and asks for me. He didn’t even really ask for me, he was being so vague and explaining NOTHING. I am mortified!!! I don’t know how I’m going to cover this up AND cover up the fact that I don’t actually have a car right now.

When Lana comes back, I apologized and said that we were going to Free Museum Day after this, which was actually true, just after we went to lunch and ran another errand. The conversation actually picked back up and was more casual, we joked a little and she told me a story. Then Claudia, the Director of Operations comes in. I apologized to her about my dumb intruder and she was cool about it, saying she wished she could go take advantage of Free Museum Day as well. 

It’s amazing… and also makes me think of

this song by The Weeknd. It’s about Thursdays.

museumDistrict1-265x300

Claudia had some reservations about me working and going to school. I can tell from their questions that they need someone that can handle a large workload. I reassure them that I could handle it and gave examples. 

So, I pretty much think I nailed it minus that one hiccup. Which, I realize was a major one. I really wish that I could chop his foot off and make common sense a COMMON attribute. If you can’t find me or get ahold of me, I’m OBVIOUSLY STILL IN THE MEETING. Shit for brains!! That is the same person that licked some mysterious brown spot on his shoe………. what does that tell you? I plan on marrying into this mess. Is being that dumb genetic?

I gave up on life for a second as I fell down in a parking lot…

Let me explain. After my interview, I think I was:

1) On a natural high because it went so well.

2) Upset about the interruption.

3) Hot because the Texas sun has special heat stroke powers and I was wearing a full pants suit with a jacket.

4) and very anxious, my anxiety has been on a level of a 7 lately, which is higher than normal for me and at a constant rate. I haven’t been sleeping well.

THEREFORE, when I had to step over this curb to then cross the parking lot to go eat… I completely missed it. I don’t even think I picked my feet up actually. I just toppled over. Then, I laid there………………

“Hello? Precious… Are you down there? Say something!”

SINKHOLE

I didn’t scream when I fell. I didn’t try to save myself. I just fell over the top of this curb and laid there. I gave up. I wanted to slither underneath the car I was laying my head on. My boyfriend and his brother helped me up… and my boyfriend’s Mom is SCREAMING… “Are you OK?” “Are you SURE??” Lady… I just want to go stuff my face with BBQ and die, please stop talking. I’m not dead. I didn’t break anything. I’m just really embarrassed and want to eat my feelings.

If you’ve been reading my blog, you know that my dignity died a couple weeks ago… so what is left in that parking lot between those two cars? My honor? My ability to think and walk at the same time? 

Of course, when we were leaving, everyone made fun of me. Which totally made me feel apart of the family… I NEVER feel like that with them. EVER. So, that was nice, for a moment I felt accepted.

Sigh.

That was my day, the three significant parts of my day. Unless you want to know how good my nap was and how much my back hurts right now lol.

Your friend,

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5 thoughts on “I Think I May Need To Cure Cancer To Restore My Honor…

  1. Oh no! I know how it goes though! You are so jittery, giddy, and nervous, and mortified (sometimes for no reason) that tripping, falling, generally spazzing out is at a heightened threat alert. I love you Peep! P.S. Kill Ken’s brother!!!!!!!!!!!

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  2. Oh no, I’d be absolutely mortified!! I can only imagine how you felt. That’s so inconsiderate, he must have no freakin idea how interviews and the corporate world works! BUT don’t fret I think your explanation was great with the museum day, it shows you are interested in culture which is always good 🙂

    I have similar hair problems. It’s super volume-y and if there’s moisture in the air (99% of the year in Ireland) I get terrible frizz. A few years ago back in the UK I had a Brazilian Blow Dry and that actually worked and straightened my hair for 6 months.

    Fingers crossed you’ll get the job!! 🙂

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    • Thank you so much!

      I was mortified! This guy seriously has no brain! He was suppose to just peek in the lobby and see if I was still waiting on someone… Ugh!

      I have no idea what to do with my hair, this going natural thing is just giving me the blues. I usually just keep it up and out of the way, I would love to wear a fierce fro but that doesn’t work the corporate world lol.

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