Black (Caution: Intense Content)

{A little note before you read, I wrote this when I was 20 or 21 maybe to finally let go of being sexually assaulted, it’s a recount of exactly what happened, so I hope you make it to the end and just simply receive it. I would love feedback on whether or not I should try to perform this at a poetry reading or something. I’ve always wanted to do it with this particular piece. }

Sip. Giggle.

Chug. Laugh.

Vodka and Orange Juice, I mixed half and half.

I was hurt tonight by a boy.

He threw my heart away like an old toy.

I’m eighteen, what do I know?

but him flirting with her makes me annoyed.

So I sip. Giggle. Chug. Laugh.

Orange Juice and Vodka I shouldn’t have mixed half and half.

Where did the time go after that last glass?

Because the next thing I know…

My nose is being tickled by blades of wet grass.

I’m sick.

I can’t move.

I’m nauseous.

Friend, come help me quick.

I hear giggles. Why are they so tickled by this?

I need help! Help me up!

Stop laughing at me please!

Then everything fades to black.

Oh, Thank God. Someone threw me in a car.

Take me home, take me home.

I can’t function anymore.

Do you not understand what I’m saying?


Wait, pull over. I need to vomit.

“Hey, open the door! I just cleaned my car, so watch it!”

fade to black

Help me please put me in the bed.

You don’t want to stay, go back to the party instead.

I hear giggles, stop laughing at me. Please.

…everything’s black

I hear someone.

Who are you?

I feel hands.

Why are you touching me?

Give me my shirt back. Put your clothes back on.

Do you not understand what I’m saying?

Is my mouth not moving?

I feel more hands, there are two of you here.

Who are you?


Then I recognize the voice.

I don’t want to do this.


…then everything fades to black

Ouch. You’re hurting me.

I can’t move.

I can’t speak.

My pants are down.

I’m exposed.

Aaron you’re my friend.

I feel more than two hands.

I don’t want to lay here and take this.


Do you not hear me?

In my head I shout as a man…

I once thought of as a friend…

Shoves his manhood in my mouth.

…this lady’s soul turns to black

I hear sounds of pleasure that I’m certain aren’t my own.

I don’t want to do this, I thought I made that known.

They throw my body around.

Do what they want.

My head hurts…

It’s being banged against a wall,

I cut my lip that’s going to leave a scar.

They couldn’t care less if my head fell off at all.

I stare at the ceiling trying to leave myself.

The friend and the stranger keep thrusting

so it doesn’t help.

…then all I see is black

I wake up, it’s still dark.

that’s a pillow over my face.

I don’t dare move.

I open my eyes and there’s a body next to me.

My soul is dead.

What’s wrong with my head?

My vagina hurts.

Where are my clothes?

I want to cry.

Who is this guy?

Then I hear, Bryan, the voice of my brother.

The voice of my once friend.

They’re talking to one another.

Aaron and the stranger are about to leave.

I don’t dare breathe.

Right before they walk out the door.

Aaron tells my brother…

“Tell your sister I said bye.”

All I could do was lay there in my blood and silent tears

and wish to die.


2 thoughts on “Black (Caution: Intense Content)

  1. Precious. I have no words. This would make a great piece to recite. I say practice repeating it out loud to make it perfect for a verbal reading.


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