I don’t understand…

…why it’s so cold in my bedroom.

I hide the fact that I’m really jealous. I’ve been told ENVY is one of the deadly sins. Actually, I only know that because I’ve watched that movie Seven like a million times. I’m jealous of people’s families, I’m jealous of the things they have, I’m jealous of the vacations they take and I’m jealous of their looks. It’s to the point where I’m hiding people on my newsfeed (On Facebook) because they’re too happy!

I guess I’m just tired of the pictures of ugly babies, someone likes this quote and this song, pictures of people’s freshly painted nails and what they wore out tonight, pictures of their masterfully done makeup and posts about where they’re going and with who. Maybe, I’m circling right back to that jealousy thing.

I want to find out who I am. I want to figure out what I like to do. I want great people in my life. I want to go places and I want to live life.

I feel so stuck.

I’m just waiting for something to happen. I’m waiting for my moment. I’m waiting for my life to come full circle.

Until then… I feel like this lame, fat, ugly nobody that just decided to go to school after years of slacking off and not living up to my full potential.

What is my full potential anyway? I feel like I’m suppose to have it all figured out at 23 but who does?

Maybe I’ll write a book one day…

But then again who would want to read it. I decided last night while my boyfriend was playing COD that I was going to try and keep a journal again. Since, I’m always on the computer, I guess blogging is best.

I’m not going to pretend like my life is so much fun and I have the most interesting things to say. Every now and then I have a funny story to tell or I go through something that I feel I can help other people with. Besides, I talk way too much and I think my boyfriend is getting really tired of listening to me ramble on and on about friends, my weight, my hair, my non-job, my family and everything else that I can  think of to talk about while we’re laying in the bed and he’s trying to go to sleep.


Let’s see if this helps with my emotional issues and my cluttered mind.  🙂 Happy New Year!!